Clara has been separated from José for three years. They have two small children. At first, he complied with child support, although irregularly and only after many reminders. Over time, the payments became more sporadic until they disappeared. José says his income is unstable, that he is “doing what he can.” Meanwhile, Clara alone covers school, food, clothing, and medicine. Because although child support is called “alimentary,” the idea is that it should cover everything else a growing child may need. He occasionally shows up with vague promises and the odd Christmas gift. She, on the other hand, can never disappear. And in the meantime, the children eat, grow, get sick, and need…
This scene is not an exception. It is a pattern repeated in thousands of Latin American households. What begins as a marital disagreement ends up being a structural abandonment of paternal responsibilities. And the cost is borne by women… and especially by the children.
Shameful figures
In recent years, the figure of the alimony debtor has begun to gain visibility in the region. Countries such as Paraguay, Mexico, Chile, and Colombia have created public registries of people who owe maintenance payments for three consecutive months or more.
In Paraguay, more than 10,000 people are listed in the Registry of Delinquent Alimony Debtors (REDAM). In Chile, only in the Metropolitan Region, more than 82,000 fathers appear as debtors. In Mexico, in the state of Guanajuato, about nine complaints are filed daily for failure to provide family support, leading national cases in this matter. In Argentina, 68% of non-cohabiting male parents fail to meet their parental responsibility. These are figures that should be more alarming than they are now.
Behind these numbers lies a complex network of causes that enable and even normalize this noncompliance. One of them is the high labor informality in the region. Many of these fathers are self-employed, without contracts or fixed income, which makes garnishments or direct withholdings difficult.
However, the problem goes beyond the economic factor, which is often used as the usual excuse not to fulfill parental obligations. The backdrop is a culture that still excuses men who shirk their responsibilities. They are allowed to disappear from the emotional and economic system without real consequences.
In contrast, women who cannot support their children alone are judged for “not knowing how to choose,” for “being dependent,” for “complaining.” The social sanction is disproportionate. Not to mention the use of late child support payments as part of a scheme of control over the ex-partner, turning such an act into vicarious violence.
In most Latin American countries, laws exist in theory that allow for account seizures, license restrictions, or even travel bans for debtors, but they are not always effectively enforced. In practice, judicial processes are slow, costly, cumbersome. Women must present paperwork, wait for hearings, and endure delays. Many give up not for lack of reason but out of exhaustion. Most do not report or lack access to legal advice. In addition, there is stigma, shame, threats, fear of reprisals, and a culture that downplays noncompliance with alimony obligations.
But the duty to provide food and care for children should not only be a legal obligation. Beyond that, it is an ethical and social duty and a basic measure of justice.
Stopping child support payments is violence, and we are normalizing it
Alimony is a matter of human rights and public policy. A child deprived of food, medicine, or education because their father does not comply is the victim of abandonment by a structure that leaves them unprotected. And consequently, that child starts life at a disadvantage.
In Latin America, noncompliance with child support represents a structural failure that affects the daily lives of thousands of families. That is why feminists understand the failure to pay child support as a form of economic violence, since it falls disproportionately on women, who are usually the primary caregivers and to whom custody of their children is granted. Undoubtedly, feminist struggles have been key in making the phenomenon of economic exploitation visible as a form of sexist violence, not as a simple conflict between ex-partners.
The path to curbing paternal abandonment
We need more efficient, up-to-date, visible, and easy-to-consult debtor registries. Judicial procedures to issue support orders, wage or asset garnishments, tax withholdings, and other administrative sanctions that truly affect the debtor must be streamlined—for example, restrictions on contracting with the State, obtaining licenses, leaving the country, or participating in public benefits.
But also, and above all, we need to make this enormous patriarchal irresponsibility visible through educational campaigns so that it does not go unpunished. We need to work toward achieving a profound cultural change so that fatherhood cannot be optional and social permissiveness toward those who fail to comply ends.
Today, there are public campaigns that expose alimony debtors, such as feminist patrols and “tendederos” in Mexico, as well as legislative initiatives that seek harsher penalties, from asset seizures to disqualification from holding public office.
On social networks, movements such as #DeudoresAlimentarios have generated social pressure, leading many men to comply out of fear of public shaming or loss of reputation. These strategies have amplified the debate, showing that when there is political will and citizen pressure, paternal abandonment ceases to be invisible and begins to have consequences.
As a society, we must stop romanticizing the image of the “struggling mother” and encouraging them to be able to do everything, because many times it is not that they can—it is that they have no alternative. What we need is justice, not resilience.
Clara’s story should not be repeated so many times in so many homes in the region. If the State, society, and fathers themselves fulfilled their part, she could be freed from the uncertainty that accompanies each unpaid month. If we truly believe in equality, justice, and the well-being of children and mothers, we must stop tolerating this cruel abandonment, covered by patriarchal complicity, which not only creates a pact of silence that does not condemn the abandoner but also turns away and even excuses him, leaving millions of women with children to their fate.
*Machine translation, proofread by Ricardo Aceves.
Autor
Psicóloga. Master en Políticas Públicas con enfoque de género. Especialista en Transformación Cultural y Coaching Ontológico. Directora de FeminismoINC. Autora de "Incomodar para Transformar" y "Atrevidas: Manual de trabajo personal por el activismo feminista".
